I have been around the neighborhood several times looking for signs that say "Now Hiring". I have even been to places that don't have signs, just to make sure. I have filled out countless of applications, and had a few interviews, but for some odd reason, I am never the one they hire. I dress up nicely, I smile, I am clean, I sound enthusiastic, and yet, still no job. I am not sure what I am doing wrong, but hope it fixes itself soon, because I need money!
Anyway, I keep being told, that I need to occupy my time, find a hobby. So I came up with one. Filming and editing videos. Though I need ideas, inspiration, and when I go and ask all the people who have told me to get a hobby, I am told I need a life, and a job. OK so now I am pissed. No shit I need a job! Obviously that is all I have been trying to do these past 4 months!! At this point I was becoming depressed so the idea of filming my cat popped into my head. I made one video, it was a ton of fun, and now i am being made fun of. Why? Because I am alone all day? Because everyone else has friends that they can call up and hang out with? Because they all got jobs? They fail to realize, that I sit at home the majority of the day, alone, with nothing to do. My cat is the only other living thing in this house 90% of the time, so he and I have a special bond. Which Matt is a little jealous of. But why is it, when I want to film people, it's cool, but filming my cat, I become some Crazy Cat Woman? If it were a dog, it would probably be different too. Yes, I am pissed. Because I finally found something to occupy my time, and I am told I need a job, I am crazy, I am not "Normal".
What is "Normal"? No one I know is "Normal". Everyone I know, has their own way of living, none of them the same. Oh, and here is something! I had a problem, I am alone and bored and depressed. I found a solution! I figured out that my cat helps me get through the day, this is a way to spend time with him, give him the attention he deserves, and post it on youtube, where I am sure many other people will enjoy him too. I found a way to occupy my time, and not feel so bad about being alone. All the people who tell me I am stupid, crazy and need a job, well they come to me with their own bundle of problems. But you know the difference between us? I found a solution, I found a way to fix my problem. They just sit and complain without doing anything about it. So fuck them. I will do what I want, and they can leave from my life.
Most of the people who tell me these things, have no idea what is going on in my life. Because anytime we talk, they only talk about themselves, never asking about me, and how I am doing. the people who do know how I am feeling, (i.e. Caitlyn, Tyler, Matt and my mom) they support my idea of filming Max. They think it's a great hobby for me. So as to everyone else, like my brother. Fuck off.
Yes, I am pissed, but I am so sick of people telling me something, then when I go off and do it, tell me to do the thing I have already been trying to do for 4 months! Just shut the fuck up, and just listen for once!!!
Anyway, I don't care what others say about my idea of wanting to film my cat. He and i will have a good time doing it, and we will share our final product to those who actually want to see it. Everyone else if they care to see it, can obviously, but it wont be by my invitation. I wont listen to all the "haters" out there, telling me my idea is stupid. For it does make me happy. Max is a special cat, and when the day comes that he passes away, I will be happy that I have videos to remind me of what kind of cat he was.
Anyway, I am done ranting. I am going to do what makes me happy, and I will post the link of the final product here.
~ Live, Laugh, Love
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